The Mighty Must Fall.
It is probably the most difficult thing we will ever do. Taking an honest look at ourselves, means having to suspend the preferred mythology that we have unwittingly constructed to cope through years of living in this world. No one wants to see himself or herself as weak, cowardly, arrogant, envious, crude, hateful, or cruel; at least, no one with a conscience, that is. We may admire the super- villain in a movie for his prowess and his seeming power to let nothing get in his way of personal domination but at the core of even the most powerful villain is the dark seed of pain.
To what lengths will a person go to keep him or herself from feeling the wounds of love not returned? It could be the love of a parent, a first crush, a love relationship foundered or any other unmet need to be seen and accepted by the target of one’s desires. Sadly, some will go to the gravest ends and means because of the perceived emptiness in relationship and acceptance that they feel within them. Turning their rage and denial outward to those around them because the pain is too great to look at inside themselves, they react, attack, and sometimes even destroy the ones that would seek to love, if only they did not loathe the fact that they need love and acceptance in the first place.
When perceived by the immature ego, the need an desire to feel loved and accepted becomes a perceived vulnerability. Rather than this knowledge empowering the bearer of these emotions to great things, it festers in the insecure gaze of ego and manifests as a weakness that they will seek to deflect, deny, detach and destroy at all costs, including the cost to themselves. One only need pick up a newspaper to read the tragedy of an ego spurned that enacts a self-aggrandized rampage on those he deems the enemy of his wounded self. Open up the pages of a superhero comic to see the backstory of the nemesis spurned by some foundational figure in their innocent years, mother, father, love- interest, community, God. The die is cast and the villain is born in effort to never FEEL that way ever, again. The wounding of the hero, the wounding of the villain, they are same in event but not in outcome. Why is this? It is the perspective of the individual and the place from which they make choices that determines the difference between becoming the villain, ever-acting out the initial inner wounding by wounding back externally or becoming the hero, the one who transforms the vulnerability of brokenness into the opportunity to become something greater.
We face this every day of our lives. Although you may have never have thought of it in such a dramatic scenario, the truth of the matter is there. We are all wounded, foundationally to varying degrees. We have all perceived a loss in some way to our sense of self, to our sense of how it “should be or should have been.” Some of us, take these defining blows and create from it a determination to survive, to never give up, to defy all to the contrary, to succeed in happiness at all costs. Still others take the kicks of living as some kind of commentary as to whom they are. The stab of love lost becomes the declaration of co-dependence. The rejection of affections proffered turns in to the creed “Thou are not loveable.”
These absolutes determined at such a time is about as sensible as the acorn falling from the tree and because it sees this natural, letting go of the tree that held it as personal rejection, the acorn is determined never to grow past its shell for fear of being rejected again. It does not reach out, it does not break the shell that was actually, only meant to save it from the fall, not to house it forever. The only way to grow, to evolve, to change, to become the tall, proud, ancient oak is to let go of being the discarded and fallen acorn.
The truth is that whatever “ rejected” you in the past did not do so out of any reason to do with YOU, but rather it was all to do with themselves and their own level of growth at the moment. That is all there ever is. Even a parent giving children up for adoption ultimately does so because of their OWN situation. Is it in the best interest of the child? Intentionally. Possibly. In actuality, No, that is not always the case. Commonly, the circumstances for whatever the reasons are not conducive to allow another dependent thing to thrive. Thus, like nature, when one can no longer be useful in the growth of another, separation takes place for both parties sake.
The person, or persons, who rebuffed your affections or broke your heart or did not see you, as you wanted them to, did not do those things because of who you are, but because of who THEY are. That is all human beings can do. To continue to live as an adult in the infantile mind of having to be the center of a person’s motivation is to court disaster within your relationships.
Back to the oak trees discarding of the acorn. Do we as human beings look at the fallen acorns beneath the trees in the forest and think “ man, that tree is an asshole! Or What the heck is wrong with these trees?!” Of course we don’t. We recognize it as a natural season in the lifetime of the oak. Can we not look at the founding of our own evolutionary journey the same way? What would have happened if the tree held on to that acorn for all it was worth? The acorn would die. It would never become a tree itself. The separation is necessary for the growth of both beings in the nature of things. Sometimes, in deed it is the actual fall that breaks the shell of the acorn and allows the truth of what lies inside to be freed. Think about that in the context of yourself.
At those volatile moments in your life when the separation and resulting fall cracked you open, what was most true? You were vulnerable. Did you seek in that moment to pull your shell back around you to protect the nakedness and raw openness you felt? Did you just lie there in acceptance of the moment, not sure what happened but understanding that you cannot go back to where you were, how you were?
Growth is a choice. Survival and yes, even success is a choice. Some of us have been psychologically duct-taping our shell back together for decades out of pure will and sheer anxiety. Some of us have been using those sharp edges to lash out at anyone or any situation that tries to coax you out of the shell and encourage you to grow. “I don’t have to change, I am fine the way I am, there is nothing wrong with me, I am generally okay. I don’t need anything, “ This is the same as the acorn saying “ stop trying to see through my patchwork shell into the heart of me, don’t you see I am an acorn? I am fine, I don’t have to become anything other than this. I am happy here, it safe. “
I am telling you and nature is telling you through her own example, that it is okay to fall and it is okay to be broken open. This happens FOR you not TO you. Why? Because life already knows the greater picture; your God, your mother nature, your creator, understands the relationship of all things, knows what is necessary for all beings to thrive, including you, thus it knows the raw and perfect truth. You can know this truth too.
Glaring Light of Awareness: Have you been served?
I read this morning a blog, from the International Institute for spiritual leaderships where the author states ” it begins by recognizing that wisdom starts with mindful awareness and that it requires a spiritual transformation that leads us beyond egoistic gratifications. In doing so ones begins to awaken to the realization that joy, peace, and serenity provide life’s greatest reward and that these rewards can only be found through loving and serving others.”
Reading it, triggered something in me, which I thought might also be helpful, or of service to others.
Perhaps, I am not alone in that I recognize that spiritual transformation is required to gain wisdom and to truly, be of service. However, it seems that although we may be mindful of this awareness, the actual willingness to work for it and the courage, to surrender to that transformation, can turn even the earnest seeker the other direction. At times, it seems the ego or rather our own subservience to the ego can block our path to wisdom. We may want to be of service ideally, of course but to truly be of service cannot be faked, it must be created.
We all believe ourselves to be good people. I doubt that most of us, if any of us, wake up each day thinking about how big of a jerk we can be and how many people we can hurt. Yet, it does happen. There are times that despite all our efforts to be of service or come from our higher selves that human interactions gets as sticky as the web of a black widow spider and just as difficult to untangle. We can be left questioning ourselves as to our own spiritual path and how we are proceeding and evolving upon it. We have to realize that the more self realized we become and transform on the inside, the greater the chances for disruption on the outside we will face. It is not a simple thing, dismantling the projections of a world built on ego and all that comes with it. We have to begin the process from the inside and that too can be daunting work as we come face to face with the looking glass of our inner eye.
Sometimes, we can get sidetracked thinking wrongly that being a spiritual person means being better, knowing better and acting better than others. However that is all it is, an act. The very concept of having to reach some other way of being, to be spiritual, is where I think we go wrong and we do a great dis-service to ourselves and to others.
To be of service means we offer what we are, who we are, As we are to humanity with the totality of our being; imperfections and all. It is a state of humble service not an act of arrogant expectation. When we elect a path of service that says I am just me and this is what I offer, this is what I learned, this is what I know, it is far more productive because there is no pretense in it. This kind of service comes with the unspoken understanding that admits, this is just me, I cannot offer you everything, I may not have learned that yet, I may not know all the answers but I am here offering to be of service all the same. Anyone who thinks we have to reach some unrealistic level of spiritual hierarchy or else we are not spiritual, not enlightened, just realize, that they are only speaking from their own inner reality and what it contains. That reality doesn’t have to become ours. That is up to us.
When a person puts another down personally or attacks their character, rather than addressing issues and speaking to actions, then we can see it for what it is. There is actually a psychological interdisciplinary field on this very behavior. It is called, Character assassination, it is not pretty and can be seen as one of the very worst tactics we human beings can commit against another. That is what it looks like but what is it really? If we accept that every outer reality has a spiritual impulse what is this insidious behavior really about?
I have spent over 25 years studying archetypes and their meaning in both esoteric legend, psychology, myth and art. So, I can only speak from my own perspective. Upon my quest, the archetype of the sacrificial god, represents the breaking down of the human, to release the divine within. I have found that on the esoteric playing field, the archetype of the sacrificial god, comes with a challenge to the seeker, it has been called the “well of remembering”, “black or Obsidian mirror” and many other names. I don’t care to wax academic on you, that is too dry. I prefer to use modern archetypes that are close to our hearts, especially ones that speak in the language that our inner child recognizes.
In one of my favorite movies called The Never-Ending Story,The hero, named Atreyhu the warrior, had to embark on a quest on behalf of all the beings of Fantasia. His challenge, to find a cure for the healing of the Princess, which would stop the land from being devoured by an unknowable, darkness. After successfully facing the Oracle, who required that the seeker believe in themselves and have true confidence to pass, and with a little luck from a Dragon named Falcor,Atreyu still had to to face most difficult challenge yet, Facing the mirror of his true self.
From the Script “The NeverEnding Story”
Engywook: Next is the Magic Mirror Gate. Atreyu has to face his true self.
Falcor: So what? That won’t be too hard for him.
Engywook: Oh, that’s what everyone thinks! But kind people find out that they are cruel. Brave men discover that they are really cowards! Confronted by their true selves, most men run away screaming!
When Atreyu looked in to the magic mirror gate, he came face to face with what he had not known. He had to realize and accept that although he may identify himself as a great warrior,he was but the avatar, a mental projection in the story of his hidden self. The true, animating, or as I like to say, imaginat-ing force behind Atreyu, the one giving the story life, was a 10-year-old boy named Bastian. Bastian, a human child was suffering deep loss for his dead mother, disconnected from his father, friendless, hiding out in an attic, rather than face the challenges of his life, isolated, bullied, and misunderstood. Bastian was escaping in to the never ending story, identifying with Atreyu, identifying with his loss of his beloved horse Artax, , running from his pursuers, the Gmork and the Nothing that would destroy everything beautiful. This story, if you have not seen it is a wonderful archetypal journey of the hero’s quest to heal the Goddess and thus heal, the land. It is an ages old, perfect Arthurian esoteric story, in that it reveals not only the greatness of the warrior but the gentle vulnerability of the inner champion. The one who must believe in himself, to make all his dreams, real. Bastian, the unlikely hero had to put a name to his suffering and transform it, to do this, integration was the magic to make the outer life like the inner one.
The mirror has two sides
The young boy, Bastian is the reflection of the great warrior Atreyu and the great warrior,is but the reflection or projection of Bastian.Okay. But what does this have to do with service? In my opinion, everything. Ultimately, humble service and acceptance of who we are in the now, as we are, is what allows us to accept the image in the dark mirror regardless of what it reveals. Who stands in front of a mirror and yells at the reflection? Why would we stand in front of the mirror and pick out flaws, call it names? Why does one attempt to destroy or assassinate the person before them be it a reflection in a mirror or the person they behold with the black mirror at the center of their own eye? What is this transformation they are demanding of the image?” why such desperation that the outer MUST change or be destroyed?
-” It begins by recognizing that wisdom starts with mindful awareness and that it requires a SPIRITUAL transformation that leads us beyond egoistic gratifications. In doing so ones begins to awaken to the realization that joy, peace, and serenity provide life’s greatest reward and that these rewards can only be found through loving and serving others.”- blog IISA from article, Reflections on Yale’s Practical Wisdom For Management Conference. you can read it inits entirety here http://iispiritualleadership.com/category/news/
If we can accept, that the Outer IS a reflection of the Inner, then it becomes quite clear that what we rail against outside of us is but the reflection of the state of our inner being. When we see the warrior reflected we are inspired and ennobled, when we see the wounded child, we are often in denial. What we see does not really matter because it is only a reflection. It is how we handle what we see, that matters. Can we face it or do we, as Engywook says, run away screaming?
If we want the reflection to smile at us, we must first smile at it. If we want it to look lovingly upon us,then we must look lovingly upon it. Even if the reflection is but the person reflected in the obsidian pupil of our eyes. It is not always easy and some days, can feel nearly impossible, but that is okay. We are not inanimate objects. We are living, sentient, beings. We are not objects to be used by others. We are blessed.
If all we see reflected back to us is the negativity, unhappy faces and criticisms of the world, we can stand in defiance, sure we can, Or we can accept that sure, what we are seeing is something that is difficult to see and to experience. Rather than running away in rejection, we stand our ground and allow the inner transformation of it to take place within us. Once this happens, the
mirror will clear, then we have met the challenge of the magic mirror. Challenge met,we are then free to walk away and continue our journey. Perhaps the journey now takes us to an environment where what we see is now, a more accurate reflection of both our inner child and our warrior. If we can accept the inner and the outer, as they are, then we integrate the images in the mirror and create an inner spiritual transformation. In a way, the glass becomes clear. It does not mean we have to stay in unhealthy situations or relationship it means that we can be mindfully aware, accept what is taking place outside us and choose to allow that to spiritually transform ourselves. We can then take what we have experienced and be of loving service to others because we have first been of loving service to ourselves, inside and out.
I close with scripture from the Gnostic Gospel of Thomas, saying 22.
Jesus saw some babies nursing. He said to his disciples, “These nursing babies are like those who enter the (Father’s) kingdom.”
They said to him, “Then shall we enter the (Father’s) kingdom as babies?”
Jesus said to them, “When you make the two into one, and when you make the inner like the outer and the outer like the inner, and the upper like the lower, and when you make male and female into a single one, so that the male will not be male nor the female be female, when you make eyes in place of an eye, a hand in place of a hand, a foot in place of a foot, an image in place of an image, then you will enter [the kingdom].”
Amen,Namaste, Aho, so mote it be.
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